Review: Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

"The things that go unsaid are often the things that eat at you—whether because you didn't get to have your say, or because the other person never got to hear you and really wanted to."

    This book was incredible! It's exciting in a sort of morbid way that makes you want to keep reading until you finish. The way it attacks social issues and moral dilemmas with such grace is truly a testament to a great author. What an amazing read!

    Everything I Never Told You tells the story of a Chinese American family living in 1970s small-town Ohio. When the oldest daughter, Lydia, is found drowned, the family crumbles to pieces. The story switches seamlessly between the present and the past. As it moves along, you begin to discover the reasons for each family member's choice, but you also see them find healing. Marilyn, mother to Lydia, Hannah, and Nath, married their father, James, when she was pursuing a future as a doctor in college. She dropped out when she married him and they started a family, but she began to find herself resenting the life she had created as a stay at home mother. Since her own mother was a homemaker and encouraged Marilyn to become one as well, she becomes frustrated and sets out to complete her degree. She goes missing for a year while she goes back to school but, eventually, when her husband finds her, she returns home. Now, however, it is different. She pushes her daughter, Lydia, to become everything she wanted to be. 

"It was a sign, Marilyn decided. For her it was too late. But it wasn't too late for Lydia. Marilyn would not be like her own mother, shunting her daughter toward husband and house, a life spent safely behind a deadbolt. She would help Lydia do everything she was capable of... She buried her face in Lydia's hair and made silent promises. Never to tell her to sit up straight, to find a husband, to keep a house. Never to suggest that there were jobs or lives or worlds not meant for her; never to let her hear doctor and think only man."

    As Marilyn shifts focus to Lydia, she ignores her oldest son, Nath, and her youngest daughter, Hannah. Lydia focuses on her studies until she is able to learn no more and resorts to cheating. She becomes friends with Jack, the not-so-bad-boy across the street whom her older brother, Nath, hates. She is crushed with her mother's expectations and her own loneliness. 

    Nath's relationship with his father becomes strained as his interest in academics and space exploration begins to grow. Hannah keeps to herself. When Lydia dies, it all falls apart. James begins an affair with one of his TAs, Louisa, paralleling his relationship with Marilyn before they married. Nath spends a night out drinking bottles of whiskey. Marilyn wanders Lydia's room during the days, and spends her nights alone after she separates from James due to his affair.

    "How had it begun? Like everything: with mothers and fathers. Because of Lydia’s mother and father, because of her mother’s and father’s mothers and fathers."

    The family will come back together, though, in the end. With time comes healing, and that couldn't be more true for the Lee family.

    Celeste Ng's writing in this novel is absolutely gorgeous. The way she writes Lydia's slow decline under academic expectations and the neglect of Hannah and Nath is completely heartbreaking. Overall, though, there is a lot to learn from this story. The mistakes made by the members of the Lee family- unrealistic expectations, infidelity, grudges and resentment- are certainly mistakes that we all make everyday. The factors of race and gender-based expectations were also huge components in the situations that led to Lydia's demise. Ultimately, the healing that the Lee's were able to find is what got me through this story.

    Hug your loved ones, friends. Don't let there be an "everything I never told you".

Review: 5/5